Is The Behavior of the Narcissist Rational?

Yes, if you consider the fact that this person’s main drive in life is false-self protection.

Narcissists see people like cars. Once it breaks down, it’s time to trade it in for a new model. With people, this means that once the supply source no longer flatters, adores, pleases the narcissist, it’s time to switch supply sources. This is the time you will notice the narcissist suddenly being upset with things about you that used to fascinate and thrill them, and then, you will find yourself being out of the picture and the new source being the one bragged about by the narcissist.

Covert Narcissism

One type of narcissist is known as a “Covert” Narcissist. This type is similar to an outright narcissist but the covert tends to be more underhanded, behind-the scenes.  They tend to be passive-aggressive exploiters.  These people are vulnerable to stress and feel guilty about fantasizing about things they know they will most likely never have or be.  This guilt causes them to suppress their feelings more.  They are angry and envious and see others as weak and wimpy.  They want to be viewed as the hero or the charity worker.  When praised, the covert does not believe it is sincere; they view the one praising them as having alterior motives.  The tend to put themselves down through self-deprecation and admire people they look up to and also resent them at the same time.  Coverts want their victims to succeed yet resent them if they do, out of envy.  This type of narcissist can be explained by the following words: hostile

 exploitative

 never pleased

can't handle stress well

competitive

low self-concept

enviousof people yet hate them

rescuer complex

suspicious

feels unappreciated

puts self down

tend to live with overt narcissists

Narcissistic Egg and Sperm Donors (Because they are NOT Parents!)

Narcissistic parents are what I call “egg donors” or “sperm donors.” The types of narcissists will tell you that when they abuse you, it’s for “your own good.” They often compare you to your siblings, will ignore you, take credit for something you did or insult what you achieved.  They will passively-aggressively hurt you and then make fun of you for getting upset.

These types of narcissistic fiends are amused when you are afraid, get a thrill out of watching you react in horror to tactless comments that they make. They have no problem tormenting you in front of certain people, as long as you are aware that you are being harmed and the other person often does not catch on.  They can be very ruthless and sadistic in the way they treat children, as a child represents that very pure and innocent  self that they can not be.

Starving a child, physically abusing them, turning a sibling against a child, killing the child’s pet, ruining his/her property, are only some of the many ways the narcissist uses to gain control and domination over a child. This evil egg/sperm donor does not nurture or show compassion or care toward the child either.  Sometimes these children grow up to become narcissists themselves. Sadly, I became close with and was abused by one recently.

Narcissism in Families III

There are ways that can help you cope if you have to or choose to live with a narcissist.  You need to realize that the narcissist can NEVER meet your needs for companionship, protection, emotional connection, or love.  You need to become very self-sufficient because they will not do that job for you or for your children.

Having boundaries is a very important part of living with a narcissist.  Sadly, narcissists may not respect your boundaries, since they feel very entitled. This is why I generally advise people to leave if they can.  Enslavement is NEVER acceptable in a relationship. If the narcissist thinks you are their puppet or robot, they will use this to enforce the rule that they always come first and your needs do not count.

Support is crucial in your situation of living with the narcissistic family member.  You must surround yourself with as many stable-minded people as you can. A support group is an excellent idea for you to find people who understand what you are feeling and going through and who can help you find options.

Physical abuse is not ok, EVER. If he/she put their hands on you, OUT YOU GO!

Explanation About Egg Donors and Why They ARE NOT MOTHERS, Sorry.

Narcissists who give birth are NOT mothers. Here, I discuss the difference between a true mother and a narcissistic egg donor. Sadly, children and adult children want so badly to believe they are like “everyone else” who has a mother,that they are willing to call their abuser a mother too…or father. The truth is, there are certain traits and behaviors that depict a mother and if the person who “raised” you did not possess or exhibit them, but instead used the behaviors that were discussed first, they WERE NOT NOR ARE your mother.  I know that’s hard to hear but it is truth.  Other good truth is that you, as an adult do not NEED a mother either.  A healthy friend, aunt, leader, therapist, etc can be a great re-parenter for you.  If you are a child or teen, you still don’t need an mother.  When you ask for help because the egg donor is abusing you, you may be provided with a foster family or a place to be where your needs are met.  Mothers and Fathers do NOT harm their children, PERIOD! f the person who "are like "ue mother and a narcissistic, and will th

When the Narcissist Decides to Leave

When the Narcissist Decides to Leave

Narcissists like to remain seen as powerful, famous, notorious, or grand. If anyone comes along that dares to point out that they are normal, plain, human, or anything beneath their "ideal," the narcissist will become very edgy and angry.  He or she will immediately begin trying to get him/herself back into the most positive light possible.

The narcissist will cut off the person who decides to confront their behaviors and issues.  Unless the person in the narcissist's life keeps jumping through her hoops and falling over themselves to please her or him, there will be a price to pay for disappointing the abuser for sure.  The biggest price the narcissist can make his/her victim pay, would be to desert and abandon them...and so, they do.  How DARE you notice that the narcissist is not and was never perfect!

The Hated Child: Narcissist's Scapegoat/Target

The Hated Child: Narcissist's Scapegoat/Target

Most families have children in various positions. There is always the "black sheep" or the "favorite" in families, but in narcissistic families, this goes even deeper and encompasses the entire fabric of the family.

A hated child of a narcissist is subjected to abuse by a so-called parent that was supposed to love and care for him or her.  This child never was loved, protected, cared for, and may have been shamed and punished for things they did not do or for disappointing or embarassing their parent.

This child has high need for achievement and is a people-pleaser.  He or she begins to find ways to comfort and self-soothe with material possessions.  Often, such a child grows up having a high sex drive, because of equating sex with acceptance, closeness, and love.

The hated child will sometimes act out and get into trouble in order to get any type of attention.  They will often do things that are dangerous or mean to their siblings or others.

As adults, these children will often become pathological liars, emotionally distant, clingy, dependent, codependent, and insecure.