The Bored Narcissist

The Bored Narcissist

How to Recover From Narcissistic Abuse

After being abused in general, a person needs time to heal, but being abused by a narcissist has the added element with it of mental, psychological torment that results in its victims having post traumatic stress disorder symptoms. Baby steps are needed in order to heal and recover from such abuse.

There are several methods of treatment that can be used to help a narcissistic abuse victim.  Journaling is one such method of treatment to help a narcissistically abused person.  Using questions such as Location? Feelings? What do you want to do? What did you do? How do you feel about your choice? You can work through on paper, the feelings that used to drive you toward the narcissistic person.

Learn how to start a recovery journal of your own right here:

The Narcissist's Puppet

The Narcissist's Puppet

Narcissists are “users” in a very real sense of the word. You are nothing more than an object to the narcissist. Puppets are a good example of this type of relationship. The narcissist pulls the “strings” to make the victim move and do what they want them to do.  This works well until the “puppet” realizes he/she is on the strings. At this point, the puppet-victim decides that this control is too tight and uncomfortable.  When this happens, the narcissist is both shocked and amazed that this seemingly inanimate object (you) dares to think for itself, do what it wants, and that its thoughts and actions do not match what the narcissist does or expects it to do.  The narcissist becomes enraged at this point and begins demanding the victim to comply “or else,” as well as using threats, manipulation, promises, or other tactics to get the victim back on the strings of control.

Conclusion: Take Some Kind of Positive Action

Using a watch with a second hand can help you work through making it through the seemingly endless moments after the one you cared about left you.  It is important to form new habits to replace the old ones.  A person will NOT be able to break old habits and stop wanting to be with their partner without having something to replace those old habits. 

Some experiments have determined that it takes about 21 days to make or break any habit.  It would be a great idea to cut off the thoughts about the narcissist in this same way.  Allow yourself a certain amount of time to dwell on things but then go do another new thing…see a movie, walk a dog, sing a song…anything. Eventually, your brain will attach to the new habits.

When you are through with a relationship, you may be tempted to curl up and die. DO NOT DO IT!  Take positive ACTION for your life and you will feel so much better.  Join a gym or a YMCA, pick up a new hobbie, get a pet, just do something!  As long as your mind is busy, you should have less time to obsess about what you’ve lost and put energy toward what you have gained.

Forgiveness Sets You Free!

Breaking up with, leaving, or losing an abusive narcissist can send you reeling! Your mind will do somersaults trying to make sense of it all.  You are going to feel like you did something wrong, could do something different than what you did, were not good enough, didn’t help the person enough, etc.  You will most likely go through various types of mourning stages such as: denial and realization, but eventually you will embrace acceptance,  and even eventually come to a point in which you release the abuser from your hatred and anger…this is forgiveness.  Forgiveness will help you bring positivity into your life and set your own heart and mind free!

Four Types of Narcissists

There are various types of narcissists. No matter what type you are dealing with, they wreak havoc in your life. From the ones who can't leave you alone, to the pathological liars and schemers, to the sexual assaulters and controlling punishers, these are people who believe you were born and bred for their selfish means. Narcissists of all types can be draining and dangerous...sometimes dangerous!

 Four types of Narcissists are:

1.) The Craving Narcissist: Needy, Clingy, Draining, Demanding
2.) The Paranoid Narcissist: Believe you are plotting against them, self-harmers
3.) The Manipulative Narcissist: Try to deceive people, Liars, Convincing, Conniving
4.) The Phallic Narcissist: Aggressive, Athletic, Show-offs, usually male women-haters

When the Narcissist Decides to Leave

When the Narcissist Decides to Leave

Narcissists like to remain seen as powerful, famous, notorious, or grand. If anyone comes along that dares to point out that they are normal, plain, human, or anything beneath their "ideal," the narcissist will become very edgy and angry.  He or she will immediately begin trying to get him/herself back into the most positive light possible.

The narcissist will cut off the person who decides to confront their behaviors and issues.  Unless the person in the narcissist's life keeps jumping through her hoops and falling over themselves to please her or him, there will be a price to pay for disappointing the abuser for sure.  The biggest price the narcissist can make his/her victim pay, would be to desert and abandon them...and so, they do.  How DARE you notice that the narcissist is not and was never perfect!