Being Idealized but then Devalued: A Typical Escape Tactic of a Narcissistic Abuser
Intense, short-term relationships are very common with
narcissists. Often, the narcissist might say something that gives this
information away, such as “I don’t have any close friends” or “they always
leave me.” Narcissistic behaviors are
patterned and narcissists are generally found as the leaders of various groups,
jobs, teaching institutions, and other situations in which a leader is required
and admired.
Narcissists go from idealizing and praising the very ground
you walk on to later on devaluing you, finding fault with things that
beforehand impressed them, and putting you down often. In order to justify deserting you, they must
first “paint” you in the worst light possible.
Narcissists cannot handle feeling the guilt of having abused and
abandoned you, which they are fully aware of, lurking beneath their phony façade,
so they convince themselves that you were never what they had thought you were
to begin with!
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