Saturday, October 19, 2013


Being Idealized but then Devalued: A Typical Escape Tactic of a Narcissistic Abuser

Intense, short-term relationships are very common with narcissists. Often, the narcissist might say something that gives this information away, such as “I don’t have any close friends” or “they always leave me.”  Narcissistic behaviors are patterned and narcissists are generally found as the leaders of various groups, jobs, teaching institutions, and other situations in which a leader is required and admired.


Narcissists go from idealizing and praising the very ground you walk on to later on devaluing you, finding fault with things that beforehand impressed them, and putting you down often.  In order to justify deserting you, they must first “paint” you in the worst light possible.  Narcissists cannot handle feeling the guilt of having abused and abandoned you, which they are fully aware of, lurking beneath their phony façade, so they convince themselves that you were never what they had thought you were to begin with!

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