N’s cannot handle you telling them they have a flaw of any
kind. They do not even appreciate your “concern” for them, and will assume you
are accusing them of almost being a serial killer or some horrendous thing. They do not even have a reference for “compromise”
or “working together” on changing behaviors.
It will not work for you to try to be their therapist at all!
Don’t be surprised if the narcissist is well able to see
their own flaws in other people but not in themselves; they learned how to
project and displace their own issues very well a long time ago. In fact, if you have noticed any major
changes in the narcissist in your relationship, chances are he/she are not a
true, malignant narcissist, because those types do not change without extensive
help from people that specialize in treating
their issues.
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