Dispelling the Delusions of Narcissistic Abuse

Let's Start at The Beginning

Narcissist sees babies as a threat at first, due to the attention they get. But soon many of the N’s realize that the baby can bring THEM attention as being “such a GOOD parent” She perceives the child as an object that will obtain attention for her. THESE ARE KNOWN AS EXTERNALIZED EGO BOUNDARIES.

The N does not want or try to obtain love from the baby but uses it as another being she can impress, shock, abuse, set out at a “star child,” have the attention of, put down, manipulate, and control. She does this when she senses she may be losing her former narcissistic supply or perceived former N supply. She will hurt, shame, abuse the child and if the child is resilliant, the N will slink into an imagined world in which she is RULER. This will mean the baby will be neglected and rejected by the mother. If the narcissistic mother is in public where she cannot openly lash out at the baby, she will simply pull away from the infant and project her anger onto other people.

Some N mothers will actually appear to “own” the baby to the point that nobody else will be allowed near them. This frustrates those not allowed near, so the narcissistic mother gains fulfillment because she has effectively “punished” the one that wants to be close to the baby she is “hogging” This affords the N mother another type of narcissistic supply.

When the baby begins achieving milestones, this becomes yet another source of N Supply to the N mother.

As the baby grows, N mother will teach them to see them as “god” through methods in which the child learned to obey without question and idolize “mom”

Unfortunately, when the N mother/father is able to elicit this blind obedience from the child, incest can often result. The narcissist will actually see the child as way to feed his/her own sexual needs by “using” the child to fill their desires. Since the child is viewed as an extention of N parent, this is one of the most ultimate ways of “consuming” the “object” which is the child. This depersonalization is very harmful indeed. Children are very easy targets for a narcissist and even during a sexual act, are subservient and dependent on N…another high thrill of the narcissist!