I was watching Diane Sawyer's interview with Rhianna a moment ago and my heart just broke for her. I am wondering, is she seeing a therapist? Getting cognitive or dialetic behavioral therapy to help her process what happened, why, and to help her get through this?
As I look into her eyes, I see a sense of deep loss that started as a child when she tried to prevent her father from abusing her mother. I hear a helplessness in her voice as she talks about the abuse she went through at the hands of Chris Brown.
I totally understand how she could "reason" with herself enough to go back to Chris, because I did that for 23 years in my own former marriage. I think that's why my cry sometimes feels like the loudest when it comes to me hearing that people are "going back" to the abuser! I lived it, I know what it's like, and EVERYTHING IN ME WANTS TO PREVENT YOU ALL FROM MAKING MY MISTAKES!
I know you had "history" with the abuser, the spouse, the boy/girl friend, the best friend, the relative, whatever, but YOU WILL MAKE NEW HISTORY that is healthier in a new situation. Your fear is based on the unknown. Take the steps. Get the help. Do the "work" to heal. Live at the shelters. Live with a relative. Find yourself. Find your voice. Find a hobby, a dream, a goal. You are WORTH IT! Break the cycle...for you, your children, for an example to everyone else that also NEEDS TO LEAVE!
~Laura
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