Monday, January 16, 2012

Rhianna and Other Sad Situations

I was watching Diane Sawyer's interview with Rhianna a moment ago and my heart just broke for her.  I am wondering, is she seeing a therapist? Getting cognitive or dialetic behavioral therapy to help her process what happened, why, and to help her get through this?

As I look into her eyes, I see a sense of deep loss that started as a child when she tried to prevent her father from abusing her mother.  I hear a helplessness in her voice as she talks about the abuse she went through at the hands of Chris Brown.

I totally understand how she could "reason" with herself enough to go back to Chris, because I did that for 23 years in my own former marriage.  I think that's why my cry sometimes feels like the loudest when it comes to me hearing that people are "going back" to the abuser!  I lived it, I know what it's like, and EVERYTHING IN ME WANTS TO PREVENT YOU ALL FROM MAKING MY MISTAKES!

I know you had "history" with the abuser, the spouse, the boy/girl friend, the best friend, the relative, whatever, but YOU WILL MAKE NEW HISTORY that is healthier in a new situation. Your fear is based on the unknown.  Take the steps. Get the help. Do the "work" to heal.  Live at the shelters. Live with a relative. Find yourself. Find your voice. Find a hobby, a dream, a goal. You are WORTH IT! Break the cycle...for you, your children, for an example to everyone else that also NEEDS TO LEAVE!

~Laura

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