Recently, I have been reading posts about codependency not being an accurate label for people that have been stuck with narcissistic relationships.
I personally have always thought that the word itself does not depict what goes on with extreme caretakers. In fact, why don't we call it "toxic caretaking" or something along those lines. Anything with the word "dependency" in it seems to indicate almost a "clinginess" to a toxic host. Co- means "with" so what they are labeling people as is "with clinginess on another person" which would actually be more of an addiction to a person.
Actual "codependent" behavior means that a person is one that takes care of another person to the detriment of her normal life, friends, family, desires, hobbies, job, responsibilities. That is not the same thing as being extremely addicted to a person. One is a word that indicates "doing" and the other means "being," from how I look at it.
In my personal case, I was not N's caretaker yet I was addicted to her approval. I was more of an inverted narcissist I think than a codependent. I think a codep relationship could describe a person that refuses to put her parent into nursing care because she feels obligated to put her life on hold to try to help, but does not have the ability to help the parent as well as the nursing facility could.
This is just my view and I'm open to other viewpoints.
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